First Date Dos and Don’ts

Navigate your first date with grace, confidence, and fun! This guide lays out a clear roadmap to create a positive and memorable first-date experience. Discover the essential dos and don’ts that will keep the conversation flowing, and the laughter going, and leave both of you eager for a second date.

Alright, ladies! The excitement is buzzing 🐝 You’ve got a date lined up and you're ready to dive into the dating world. You’re trying to decide what to wear and thinking about things to talk about. But the first date can seem a bit nerve-racking, right?

Fear not, I’ve created your go-to guide for ensuring the first date is not just bearable, but enjoyable, leaving a sprinkle of mystery and a wave of excitement for more! Follow these tips to ensure you both have a good time while also leaving him wanting more.

Keep It Simple

There are three main things I need you to keep in mind when it comes to first dates:

• Casual and cheap 💵
• Short and sweet 🍭
• Weekdays only ⏰

I know we’ve all seen it in movies and TV shows — the first date where the man picks the woman up and takes her out for a lobster dinner. She’s completely swept off her feet, and the two of them sit on a bench overlooking the water while they talk about their dreams and ambitions.

But I’d like to recommend you take a different approach and for good reason.

First and foremost, opt for something casual and relaxed for your first date. No need to go out to a 5-star restaurant and get dressed to the nines for someone you just met.

Instead, let’s stick to coffee, a walk in the park, ice cream, or even getting tacos. This sets a light and fun tone, providing an easy atmosphere to get to know each other without the pressure of a formal dinner setting.

Next, cap the date at 30-45 minutes — one hour MAX! This timeframe is your friend. It's long enough to get a feel for each other but short enough to leave a little mystery in the air. Besides, if the date isn’t going as hoped, you won’t be stuck in a prolonged encounter with a stranger you aren’t even interested in.

Finally, try scheduling your date on a weekday and, as much as possible, during the day. This could be on your work lunch break or even right after work at a nearby coffee shop or park. It’s all about keeping it informal and easygoing 👌

While it might be tempting to think of this as “low effort” on the man’s part, I want you to look at it differently.

You are a high value woman with a busy life filled with other priorities and commitments. Three or four hours of your weekend is not something you are willingly handing out to strangers. This is something a man can earn overtime with consistent effort, not something he receives just for being interested in getting to know you.

Plus, you want to avoid the “interview style” dating scenario where you are forced to hammer each other with questions for hours on end. And if you’re on a long date over the weekend, this can be difficult to avoid.

Instead, keep it light and fun. The first date is all about testing the waters of attraction, not a deep dive into compatibility. Steer clear of the heavy topics and keep the conversation breezy and engaging. Shared laughs and a fun conversation can pave the way for future, more serious talks 

Meet There and Make Your Own Way Back

This is crucial! Not just for successful dating but also for your safety 💯

Remember, no matter how long you’ve been in digital communication with this person, he is still a complete STRANGER. Your mom always told you not to get in the car with strangers, and this stands true especially when dating.

I know it feels “manly” for him to pick you up for a date, but you are not here to stroke his ego, and you are a strong, independent woman capable of getting yourself from place to place.

Meeting at the venue provides both of you with autonomy and space. You want to ensure your safety and comfort, so don't have him pick you up at your place just yet. It’s about taking baby steps and maintaining your boundaries from the get-go.

Maintain Boundaries – No Intimacy!

Ladies, hold off on the physical intimacy for now. There's a time and place for everything, including all levels of physical intimacy, but I promise you the first date is not it 🙅‍♀️

This advice applies to all forms of physical connection, whether it’s a gentle kiss, holding hands, hugging, or more. Engaging in any form of physical intimacy on the first date can cloud your judgment.

Your brain doesn’t differentiate between these actions. It releases bonding hormones like oxytocin, making it hard for you to remain analytical and assess compatibility without bias.

These are the same hormones released during more intimate activities, making it challenging to discern your true feelings about the person. This hormonal rush can inadvertently tie you emotionally to someone you hardly know, making it difficult to assess the person and the potential relationship objectively.

Taking the time to get to know the other person without the blur of physical connection allows you to evaluate your compatibility and shared values. If you later realize that you do not align or connect with them as you'd hoped, having maintained these boundaries will enable you to walk away from the situation with ease.

Offer to Pay: The Unspoken Test

I’m going to finish with another controversial topic, but in my opinion, it’s an important one.

When the bill arrives, extend an offer to pay your share. Simply reach for your purse or wallet and ask, “How much do I owe?” This isn’t merely about the financial aspect; it's an understated yet effective test of values and attitudes.

Next, observe his reaction closely. Call me old fashioned, but I do believe that some gender roles still apply in dating, and this is one of them: the man should offer to pay for the first date. Again, you are strong and independent — a high value woman — and you don’t need or expect anyone to buy you anything 💁‍♀️

But if you’re looking for a masculine man who respects you, then this is a great way to test his manners. If he insists on covering the bill despite your genuine offer to contribute, it reflects positively on his respect and generosity.

And by offering to contribute, you are helping him affirm that you are on the date for the right reasons and not just for a free meal or entertainment. You’re showing him that you appreciate him paying; you don’t take it for granted. He is likely looking to ensure he is attracting the right partner who is genuinely interested in seeking an equal, committed relationship.

On the other hand, if he readily accepts your offer to pay, consider it an insight into his character and attitude towards financial responsibilities in a relationship.

This unspoken test helps both of you understand each other's values and expectations, ensuring you are on the same page regarding financial contributions in the relationship and other aspects of life 👀

It’s also another reason, going back to my previous point, to keep the first date cheap and cheerful. If he accepts your offer to pay, then it will only cost you $5-10 to determine you might not want to see him again.

Wrap Up:

Today, we talked about how to approach first dates:

✅ Keep It Simple: Remember: casual and cheap, short and sweet, weekdays only. These three guidelines will ensure you are navigating the dating world as the high value woman you are, spending your time and energy wisely and keeping first dates casual and fun — as they should be!

✅ Get Your Own Mode of Transportation: Safety first! Meeting at the venue ensures you maintain your independence and security.

✅ Maintain Boundaries: Delay the intimacy. Respect and mutual understanding are built when both parties honor each other’s limits. And you don’t want to trick your brain into thinking this guy is “the one” when you barely even know him.

✅ Offer to Pay: It’s a subtle but significant gesture, reflecting your independence and gauging his response.

Embrace the journey, enjoy the moments, and keep the path light, respectful, and fun. Here’s to many more delightful dates ahead 🥂

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